MARRIAGE

Marriage is a God-ordained, public covenant between a man and a woman that results in a “one flesh” relationship (Genesis 2:24; Proverbs 2:16-17; Ezekiel 16:8; Malachi 2:14). God’s design is that every marriage be faithfully permanent. Marriage is God’s good gift for both believers and unbelievers. Scripture gives no commands about who “performs” a wedding ceremony and so there is freedom in the method.

Government did not create marriage. But the government can help a society by officially recognizing it, and keeping records of the vows. Common law marriage can be used by governments to legally protect people, but it does not constitute marriage in God’s eyes. If a man and a woman declare publicly that they are husband and wife, the marriage should be recognized. They also should be encouraged to follow the laws of the state by having this publicly recorded.

Marriage is between a male and a female. Governments might recognize homosexual relationships for legal purposes, but they are not marriages in God’s eyes.

The preacher often says “As an ordained pastor and by the authority given to me by the of laws of the state, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” This is not true. God pronounces when a marriage has occurred. Preachers “announce what God has pronounced.”

Marriage involves the covenant vows which are followed by becoming one flesh. A marriage ends when (1) vows are violated (divorce) and (2) the one flesh is violated (sexual unfaithfulness).

Under the Jewish marriage customs, a year intervened between the marriage vows and the husband and wife living together. During this waiting period, they were husband and wife and so unfaithfulness during it was considered adultery under the O.T. laws. Under most cultures, two are married as soon as the vows are given and before the honeymoon. Polygamy in the O.T. was allowed and regulated, but the ideal from the beginning was one man and one woman. The ideal is assumed and commanded in the N.T. (Matt 19)

The local church greatly enhances marriage by preparing the couple for the commitment, recognizing it publicly with witnesses and emphasizing God’s commands for that marriage. However, the local church does not have exclusive right to perform marriages. Any time the man and woman publicly declare vows, they are married in God’s sight. When the government requires a state declaration of vows, the marriage occurs at that moment. If this is followed by a church wedding, God is further honored by the marriage vows being renewed.

God loves covenant keeping, and His strength is sufficient to enable husband and wife to be faithful. His redeeming grace gives us hope that even the most broken marriage can be restored.